Last night I wish I'd had some magic water. We have an office off of our bedroom that has a door leading to the back porch. My dog wanted out, so I got out of bed and felt my way through the dark to let her out the office door. All of a sudden I can tell that something is coming in the door, making a horrible screeching noice so loud it hurt my ears! I had no idea what it was or where it was, but would have classified it as some sort of animal it was so loud. I screamed and slammed the door shut and went tearing through the bedroom yelling, something just came in the house, something just came in the house!!!!
My husband jumps out of the bed, ready to attack. I'm standing with one foot in the hallway and one foot in the family room, sort of in a dodge ball stance, peering around the corner into the bedroom, ready to bolt. Jimmy closes the office door and puts a towel up against it. He goes outside, and gingerly opens the office door from that direction. He scoops out the intruder and swats it hard. By this time I'm watching out the family room window and I scream again when he swats it. What a wienie.
It was a cicada. He must have just been sitting on the threshold when I opened the door. I now know they have a tremendously loud, buzzing distress sound that they make, which is different than their typical song and almost deafening in a closed in space.
Now I am kind of sad. Why wasn't that cicada in a tree where he belonged? Where is his family? Did he live 17 years just to die by fly swatter on someone's back porch? Now my husband is a cicada killer and I am an accomplice to the crime. By the way, one of my golden retrievers completely slept through this and the other thought it was crazy fun. Even so, it seemed like a near-death experience for me. It took me at least an hour to totally calm down. Even Jimmy was shaking. Not sure if it was the cicada, the fear of the unknown, or the sight of me screaming and running in the night.
Today it occurs to me that I am very thankful for my training and fitness level. Obviously it has more uses than I thought. My body allowed me to go from a semi-restful state to sudden, sheer terror and back down again without myocardial infarction (interval training). I was also able to slam a door hard (med ball throws), jump high into the air (jumping squats), land in the next room (jumping lunges), sprint and make sudden direction changes without injury.
We must be fit and ready. You never know when it's going to be you against a bug. Poor guy.